


Carnations

by red_to_black



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: EDDIE DIAZ IS A CHRONIC PINER, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evan Buckley says fuck toxic masculinity, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23908537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_to_black/pseuds/red_to_black
Summary: Evan Buckley has never once been given flowers in his life.That is, until he mentions it in a fit of self-pity at the firehouse. Then they're everywhere. What he can't work out is where they're coming from.(or: Buck mentions never getting flowers before, and a certain someone decides to remedy that.)
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 88
Kudos: 1615





	Carnations

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is the brainchild of a 2am discussion between me and fernnette involving one evan buckley who just wants to be loved and one eddie diaz who wants to love buck without buck knowing it's him. i don't truthfully know how the topic of flowers came up. but it did. and now, 10.5k later, we're here. what's up.
> 
> i can be found at www.allyourfandomsbelongtous.tumblr.com and https://twitter.com/redtoblack5. you should definitely follow on twitter for all my artful shitposting.

It all starts with Karen buying Hen flowers.

Buck's already been bemoaning the fact that he is, in all likelihood, going to die alone. The flowers are really just symbolic that he has nobody to show they really love him, that they think he's worth it.

"It's almost eight years together," Hen says, smiling as she admires the carnations sitting on the dining table in the firehouse. "She's been doing things like this for a while, surprising me. It's nice."

Buck sighs mournfully. "Nobody's ever bought me flowers," he says, resting his chin on his crossed arms and staring balefully at Hen's bouquet.

"Did you ever give them time to?" Chim teases, and Buck kicks at him half-heartedly as he passes.

"Nobody ever got you flowers?" Eddie asks, sitting down across from him. "Ever?"

Buck looks up at him, then shakes his head a little. He probably wouldn't be such a sad sack about things if he wasn't so damn lonely, but here he is - a twenty-eight year old man with chronic hayfever, bemoaning that nobody has ever bought him flowers when he doesn't even really care about them. It's not about the flowers, he knows that, but still. It might be nice.

"Sorry," Eddie says, a little awkwardly and a little sympathetically. It's how he sounds whenever he's trying to give Buck the emotional feedback he thinks Buck needs, but it doesn't quite come naturally to him. Buck appreciates it all the same. "That sucks."

Buck shrugs, then sits up properly and smiles. "Oh well," he says. "Guess there's still time, right?"

"Right," Eddie says, and the bell rings before they can take it any further.

~*~

Barely twenty four hours have passed when Buck is back in the station and sees a new bouquet of flowers sitting on the dining table.

He blinks, then heads over and picks up the card attached. The flowers are beautiful - carnations in varying shades of bold red and yellow and white, and he smiles as he flips it over, thinking that whoever they're gifted to is one lucky bastard.

_Buck,_

_Sorry nobody's ever bought you flowers. Hope these are okay._

It's not signed, and Buck feels his cheeks flame as he reads the card, twice, to make sure it's actually addressed to him. Someone bought him flowers? Someone overheard him talking about never getting flowers and just - bought him some? Because?

"What's that?"

It's Eddie, who's come up the stairs with his shirt still unbuttoned and an undecipherable look on his face.

"Someone bought me flowers," Buck grins. "Look! The card is for me and everything!"

"You like them?" Eddie asks, sounding a little keyed up.

"I love them," Buck says, sticking his nose in them to sniff and then sneezing for his efforts. "I mean, is that - is that bad-?"

"No," Eddie says quickly. "I'm uh, I'm sure whoever got them for you is glad you like them."

"Are you for real?" Hen snorts as she enters, hip-checking Eddie on the way past.

"Hen! Look at my flowers!"

"You get hayfever," Hen says, smiling. "Why are you so excited about flowers, huh?"

"Because someone must've heard me talking about not ever getting any yesterday and actually gone and got some. That's nice, right?"

"Someone?" Hen asks disbelievingly.

"Yeah, someone," Buck insists, and sniffs the flowers again, this time managing not to sneeze. He doesn't notice that Chimney is taking a picture of him until it's too late to protest, and his nose is now itchy enough that he can't bring himself to care. "They smell good."

"I wish someone would hurry up and cast you in your own Disney movie," Hen sighs, smiling.

"What, as the dashing suitor?" Buck asks smugly.

"No, Buckaroo, as the endangered princess," Chim says. "Obviously Eddie would be the dashing suitor."

"What?" Buck squawks, as Hen and Chim melt down into laughter. "Well, you'd be my little mascot then!"

"Makes sense, seeing as we're the only two people who point out the obvious around here," Chimney snickers.

"The obvious?" Buck asks. "What-"

"Whose flowers?" Bobby asks, curiously, as he walks in from his offence.

"Mine," Buck says proudly. "They're pretty, right?"

"Almost as pretty as you, baby," Hen coos, and Buck splutters, turning to Eddie with his puppy dog eyes in full force. Eddie will stand up for him. Eddie always stands up for him-

Except Eddie is blushing furiously and stirring his coffee with enough force that Buck is actually mildly concerned about it. Plus, he's not even looking at Buck, or the flowers. ">em>Eddie," he whines, and Eddie almost knocks his coffee over. "Help."

"I know it's fun to wind him up, but you have to give him a break sometime," Bobby says, smiling. "What's this about anyway?"

"We think Buck would make a great Disney Princess, and Eddie a fine suitor," Hen cackles.

Bobby looks Buck up and down. "I can see it," he grins, to further wails of laughter from the other two.

"I hate it here," Buck says. "Eddie, c'mon. Let's go to the gym where we're appreciated."

"Don't forget to train your obliques and get that waist snatched, baby!" Hen calls, and Buck flips her off as he drags Eddie towards the gym, listening to her and Chimney collapse into hysterics the whole way.

~*~

"There you are."

Buck turns, smiling brightly at Eddie's voice. He's standing at the top of the staircase, wearing that white henley that always makes Buck's mouth go a little dry and black jeans. He's rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly, bag slung over the opposite shoulder.

"Hi," Buck says cheerfully. "Why're you still here?"

"I'm waiting for you. Wanted to know if... maybe you'd come round for dinner?"

"Sure," Buck says, always grateful to be included in Diaz family time. "I have to stop off at home first though."

"Why?"

Buck holds up the flowers triumphantly. "I have to put these in water and get plant food for them," he explains, trotting to catch up to Eddie as he starts down the stairs. "Did you know that freshly cut flowers survive up to twice as long if you give them a little sugar and cut their stems vertically?"

"Is that what you were so absorbed in today?" Eddie asks, amused. "In the truck?"

"Maybe." Buck clatters down the stairs clumsily, hurries to get his bag together even as Eddie floats after him. "They're pretty. I want them to last ages."

"I'm sure they will with you taking care of them," Eddie says, and Buck blushes and preens under the praise. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Uh, how about I make us some pasta?" Buck asks.

"Ouch," Eddie laughs.

~*~

"What's puntin', baby buntin'?"

Buck looks up at Chimney. "Sorry, what the _fuck_?"

Chim laughs. "You're pouting like a little kid who got refused a third cookie before dinner," he says, plopping down on the couch beside Buck and picking up the controller. "What's going on?"

Buck sighs unhappily. "My flowers died," he says sadly. "I knew they were going to. But still."

Chimney, because he's great, only teases him at about fifty percent capacity for that. "Well, flowers do that, Buckaroo. But I'm sure if you mentioned it loudly enough the certain someone who bought them for you in the first place would probably buy you more. Right, Eddie?"

Buck turns. Eddie's just entered, and he was halfway through sipping his coffee when Chimney says his name. He splutters, coughs, and sends it everywhere.

"That was so hot," Buck snickers.

"Shut up," Eddie grumbles, and passes over another mug to Buck. "Here."

"For me?" Buck asks, cheering up a little. "Thanks, man."

"No problem," Eddie mumbles, and perches carefully on the arm of the couch, like it's made of fire.

"Eddie, why don't you sit here?" Chim asks innocently.

Eddie glares. "Because _you're_ sitting there."

Chimney hops to his feet and pats Buck on the head, then darts out of reach before Buck can swat at him. "I'm not now," he sing-songs, and walks away.

"He's been extra big brothery lately," Buck muses. "Hey, thanks for the coffee, man. Wanna sit and play a round?"

"Sure," Eddie says, and he's being quiet even for Eddie and a little weird so Buck pushes his knee into his affectionately, trying to get him to loosen up, and smiles when Eddie looks at him.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," Eddie says, his voice a little strangled. "Just have a cold."

"A cold?" Buck sits up. "You should've said something-"

"It's not that bad-"

"I'll make you soup tonight," Buck says stubbornly. "You should sit the next call out."

"Buck-"

"Stay there! I'm gonna make you hot chocolate!"

~*~

Buck forces Eddie to relax that night as he makes soup, and the bastard has the audacity to not even look sick while he's getting pampered, just sheepish.

"You should relax," Eddie says. "I uh, guess it was just... allergies, because I feel a lot better."

Buck narrows his eyes, but he does go over and put his hand against Eddie's forehead. Eddie blinks up at him, and he feels cool - normal - but-

"You're flushed!" Buck accuses. "Liar!"

"Buck," Eddie groans. "Jesus."

"Let me take care of you!"

"That sounded like a threat, not a request, so-"

~*~

Two days later, Buck walks into the dining area and there's another bouquet of flowers on the table. This one is bigger, and instead of being red carnations, they're yellow and purple lilies with bright spots of green.

He flushes happily at the thought of someone going to the effort again, wanders over, and flicks the card around. Sure enough, it's addressed to him.

_Buck,_

_You seemed to like the last ones. Everyone really appreciates how much you care about them. It's time you got some care back._

"Your not-so-secret admirer again?" Chimney asks, following in behind him.

"Yeah," Buck says, slipping the note into his pocket. He kind of wants it to be his little secret, something for a rainy day - the lawsuit era might be over, but sometimes when he's down on himself and feeling lonely, things still smart. They still ache. "What do you mean, not-so-secret?"

"Oh nothing," Chimney says airily. "I mean, I think it's pretty obvious who it is. Right, Hen?"

"Right," Hen says. "I think even Eddie would agree."

Eddie glares at them so hard from the newspaper Buck's surprised they don't have holes in them. "I'm so lost," he says mournfully, going to join Eddie at the counter. "Help me."

"Just ignore them," Eddie says.

"That's the same advice you'd give Chris if someone was picking on him at school!" Buck despairs. "I'm twenty-eight, Eddie!"

"Well, it's basically the same thing," Eddie says dryly. "Older kids picking on you because someone has a cr..."

Everyone looks at him, and Buck tilts his head.

"A crush?" he asks, and Hen snorts while Chimney says, "I cannot believe this is happening right in front of me."

"Yeah, that's it," Eddie says.

"You think they have a crush on me?" Buck asks, delighted.

"Everyone has a crush on you, Buckaroo," Hen says. "You're too stupidly pretty for your own good. But whoever your secret admirer is, it seems like whatever they're feeling borders on a bit more than a crush." She's grinning as she says it. "Lilies? Yellow lilies symbolise happiness and light heartedness." She stops to rub Buck's shoulders. "Someone really knows you, baby."

Buck glows under the praise and Hen's hands on his shoulders, while Eddie has gone a little pale beside him and says, "You - how do you know what it means?"

"Karen got really into flower arrangements for the wedding," Hen says slyly, "why do you look like you know?"

"I don't," Eddie says quickly. "I mean I got married too once. But I don't. Know. About flowers that is."

Buck stares at him. He's never heard Eddie so flustered before. "Are you having a stroke?" he asks, genuinely a little worried. "You look like shit."

"Eddie just doesn't want anyone to have the impression that there's a reason he knows what different flowers symbolise," Hen says, and she and Chim high five.

"Guys! He looks really pale!" Buck pokes Eddie's cheek. "Your face isn't droopy..."

"I'm not having a stroke, Buck," Eddie says with a tight smile. "I'm just tired. Not thinking very well."

"Or at all," Chim adds helpfully.

~*~

The thing is, Buck lacks self control with a lot of things in life.

Sex? He starts having it, he doesn't stop. The gym? He starts a new routine and then goes until he's either burned out or injured.

Drinking? He's either designated driver or he's fall-down, giggling, sitting on people and telling them how much he loves them drunk.

"Eddie!" he hollers, and swings himself into the crowded booth seat, right onto Eddie's lap. The table howls with laughter, because they're all drunk - except for Eddie, who doesn't want to drink too much when Chris is at home.

"Buck," Eddie says patiently.

Buck smiles brightly. Eddie doesn't seem to care that Buck has crammed his body onto Eddie's lap like he's a child. "Come dance?" he asks.

"No," Eddie says. "I don't dance sober."

"More shots!" Buck cries, and Hen and Chimney whoop with agreement. He waves to the hostess of the club, a slippery little thing probably no older than twenty-one, and God, Buck 1.0 would have been all about that, but now, he just says, "Tequila shots please!" and she smirks as she walks away.

"Steady, Buck," Eddie mumbles, his hands fluttering over Buck's waist like he wants to hold him still but doesn't want to touch him, exactly, or isn't sure where to put his hands.

"Eddie," Buck croons, wrapping one arm around Eddie's shoulders and leaning into him totally, "I'm a pro at this. You don't gotta worry about me."

"Oh, I don't gotta, huh?" Eddie asks dryly. "Well, I am."

"Very Eddie of you," Buck giggles. "But I'm okay."

The shots arrive, and Buck holds onto Eddie's shoulders as he knocks one back, barely wincing with the burn of it anymore. When he lowers his head again, Eddie's staring up at him, mouth slightly open, pupils huge.

"This is so unfair on Eddie," Hen giggles.

"He agreed to come!" Chimney says. "It's his own fault!"

"Come dance, Ev," Maddie giggles, swinging out of her own seat and grabbing Buck's collar to drag him along. "Let Eddie live."

It feels like minutes that he's out there, dancing, returning every so often to the table for another shot of whatever someone else is buying, but the songs blend together and he can feel time slipping away from him.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The guy is tall, even taller than Buck, with dark hair and eyes Buck can hardly see in the darkness. For a second, he's confused, almost says, "Eddie?" except he realises Eddie is still sitting at their table, watching the encounter suspiciously.

"Sure," Buck replies cheerfully.

The guy buys him a drink, and then another, and then they're huddled in a corner near the dance floor with the lights bouncing off the guy's face and he's getting real close, and for a moment, Buck considers ending the night, going home. Going home with this guy, the first guy in a long time.

Then he remembers Eddie, finds his gaze dragged to the table where Eddie is hunched over, staring into his drink as Hen drunkenly consoles him about - something.

"Eddie!" Buck calls.

Somehow, Eddie hears him and looks up. Buck waves, then gestures at him to come over, and Eddie hesitates.

"Who's that?" his new friend asks, and Buck blinks, momentarily stymied when he feels the atmosphere shift. He's good with emotions normally, but drunk, his perception is dialled up to eleven.

"Eddie," he says. "Eddie's my best friend. Eddie!" he calls cheerfully. "You're gonna love Eddie, man, seriously, he's the greatest-"

"Can't wait," the man mutters.

"Buck?" Eddie appears almost instantly, looking a little blurry but mostly worried. He looks amazing in a denim coloured shirt and tan chinos, and he slides into the tiny spot next to Buck. "Hey, you okay?"

"I made a friend," Buck says cheerfully, "his name is uh - what's your name?"

"Jesus," the guy mutters. "Sorry, man, I didn't realise he was taken." He backs away, then, and the space in front of Buck opens up. He blinks at the guy suddenly leaving, then turns to Eddie. Eddie, who's watching the guy go with a scowl on his face.

Buck grins as he uses two fingers to try and poke Eddie's lips into a smile, and Eddie catches his wrist, staring at him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You're all-" Buck exaggerates a frown, laughing and swaying a little. "Tried to make you all like, like me."

"I don't think anyone is as happy to be here as you are," Eddie says dryly, leaning on the wall a little better. Buck realises Eddie hasn't left him here, and that's really nice - it's nice to have Eddie close, and the whole room is spinning but Eddie's here and he smells good.

"Mmf," Buck says, and puts his head down on Eddie's shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?" Eddie's fingers rub the back of his neck gently. "Buck?"

"Dizzy."

"Yeah, figured you would be after that many shots of tequila," Eddie sighs. "You wanna go outside?"

"Yeah. Yes."

"Okay, come on. I got you." Eddie helps him away from the wall; the whole place looks sort of melty, and it's loud. The lights make him blink, and he sways again. The corner was great, actually. The corner with the big guy in front of him, blocking all the lights out.

"Whoa, whoa, okay. I think you're done." Eddie's hand lands on Buck's lower back, and the touch brings him back a little - Eddie's not carrying him, but he's being steered by his elbow. "Let's go. We're gonna get some water and some fresh air."

"Water?" Buck asks.

"Yeah, some water. You need to rehydrate." Eddie leans him up against the bar. "Can I just get a bottle of water?" he yells over the din.

He must get what he asks for, because the next second a water bottle is shoved into Buck's hands - "Don't drop that," Eddie instructs - and then he's stumbling through the club with Eddie as his only point of reference.

"Evan!"

It's Maddie, threading her way to them through the crowd. "Are you okay?" she asks.

"'M'okay," Buck confirms dizzily. "Got Eddie."

She smiles at them both, but it seems more directed at Eddie, who's gone all stiff and uncomfortable at his side. His hand, on Buck's lower back, twitches enough to bunch up his shirt.

"I'm gonna take him outside," Eddie says uncomfortably.

"Okay," Maddie giggles. "At least then you'll stop staring daggers at his new friend."

"Daggers?" Buck asks. "Friend?" The room swims; he sways, and Eddie tightens his grip.

"I can get him home," Maddie offers.

"No, it's okay," Eddie says quickly. "I've got him. He just needs some air, right, Buck?"

"Yep," Buck says, popping the "p" obnoxiously, and then Eddie continues to steer him through the crowd, to the door of the place. The bouncers give them both suspicious looks on the way out, but relax when they see that Eddie is (sadly, in Buck's opinion) sober.

The fresh air hits his face so hard it almost helps sober him up. He almost falls down the stairs, but Eddie helps him down, and then they sit on the curb together. Buck feels a lot steadier outside, without all the noise and the lights.

"Drink your water," Eddie says softly.

He struggles with the cap until Eddie opens it for him, then drinks, blinking as the world opens up a bit. Everything is still sort of melty, and the cars look extra zoomy, their taillights blurring into the night like little fairies.

"I'm really drunk," he realises.

Eddie snorts. "You aren't drunk, Buck. You're shitfaced."

Buck giggles. "Cheers, I'll drink to that," he says, knocking back some more water.

Beside him, Eddie is quiet. Buck fumbles the cap back on his water bottle and tilts his head back to stare up at the sky. Sometimes, when it's dark out like this and he's lonely, he desperately misses the stars in Pennsylvania - how clear they were, and how they made it feel like he was less alone.

"Shit, Buck," Eddie curses, and he's suddenly pulled upright. "You're gonna crack your head, be careful. What are you doing?"

Buck gestures upwards limply. "Stars," he mumbles. "I miss 'em."

Eddie's got an arm around his shoulders, now, to stop him tilting over backwards again. He follows Buck's gaze upwards, blinking, and Buck stares as the moonlight lights up his face and glitters off the dark surfaces of his eyes.

"The only good thing about Afghanistan was being able to see the stars," Eddie says quietly. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. "It reminded me of Texas. I knew I was at least on the same planet as my family if I could see them."

Buck lets his head flop back again, trusting that Eddie won't let him break it open on the pavement. "Texas sounds nice," he mumbles. "Sounds like home."

A long pause. Buck brings his head back down, but Eddie's still looking up. His eyes look a little wet, but he's not crying, and some tiny sober part of Buck recognises that Eddie wouldn't want to be called out on showing emotion right now.

"I'll take you sometime," Eddie murmurs. "If that's what you want. I'll take you to Texas."

"Yes please," Buck says, stifling a shiver and snuggling into Eddie's warmth. "It sounds nice."

"You cold?"

"A little."

"Sorry. We can go back in if you want-"

Buck shakes his head, makes a weird little noise as the movement makes him dizzier than he already was, and squeezes his eyes shut, squirming until he's got his head wedged between Eddie's chin and his chest. It's a little uncomfortable, because he's taller than Eddie and Eddie's gone weirdly stiff, but he stays where he is.

Eddie, he thinks vaguely, is like a scared rescue cat. Eddie wants people to touch him. He likes people. He's just a little scared and needs a little love and needs someone to push him, but like, _gently_. He needs someone to need him more before he's comfortable.

Finally, Eddie relaxes, gets his arm properly around Buck's shoulders and uses the other to hold Buck's elbow, across Eddie's knees, and rests his head on top of Buck's silently. They sit like that for a long time.

Then Eddie says, "The worst part about Afghanistan was all the noise."

Eddie says, "Even at night it was never really quiet and we never really switched off. We were always on. Always ready to go. We had to be."

Eddie says, "It was so fucking loud and the gunfire would leave little flash marks seared into your vision for minutes after you'd stopped firing, and you were blind and deaf and dead scared."

Eddie says, "I learned how to fight but I never learned how to quit. Leaving felt like quitting. I didn't have any other choice, but it felt like quitting."

Eddie says, "I was so damn scared I'd never get to come home, and now I am, and sometimes I don't feel like I left."

He's holding Buck so tight it's like he's trying to fuse all Buck's broken pieces back together, and Buck wants to lift his head to make sure Eddie's okay, but he's suddenly and inexplicably sad for this man who's holding onto him like a lifeline, and he doesn't want to shatter the illusion yet. That he is Eddie's lifeline - that Eddie wants him.

Eddie says, "Thanks for listening, Buck." And then, briskly, leaving Afghanistan and all its ghosts behind, "how are you doing?"

"Dizzy," Buck mumbles into Eddie's chest. "World's spinning."

Eddie holds him tighter. "I got you."

"Can I go home with you tonight?" Buck asks.

"Yeah. You wanna go now? I can order an Uber."

"Mhmm." Buck dozes a little as they sit there, with Eddie ordering the Uber and making no move to let Buck go. Buck's grateful for it - it's dark here, near Eddie's chest, and the only sound he can distinctly hear is the sound of Eddie's gentle heart beating inside it. His scent clings to Buck in all the best ways, spice and warmth and a little bit of little kid, a little bit of Christopher. Of home.

"Hey," Eddie murmurs. "He's five minutes away. You gonna get sick in the car?"

"No," Buck says. "Don't think so."

"You sure? You're slurring."

"I'll tell you."

"Okay. Good boy." Buck will think about how that was said, later, when he's not wasted, but right now he's not even considering it. "You wanna drink some more water before we go?"

"Mmkay." Buck struggles upright a little, and Eddie gets the cap off the water again. Buck drinks, but not as thirstily as before. He knows his head will hurt in the morning, but at least he'll be waking up with the Diaz boys.

"Hey, Buck?"

Buck meets Eddie's eyes with some difficulty. "Yeah?"

"Do you really like getting those flowers?"

Buck feels himself grin, maybe a little dopily, but hey, who cares. Eddie won't judge him. "Yeah," he sighs. "S'nice. Someone looks at me and thinks, hey, that guy's worth flowers."

"Even though they make you sneeze?"

"I don't mind sneezing."

Eddie looks up when headlights flash by. "That's him," he says, and stands, helping Buck to his feet and stopping him from overbalancing. "Easy, Buck. That's it. Hey, are you Theo?"

"That's me." The driver leans out a little to look at Buck. "Jesus, is he okay? He gonna puke?"

"He's fine," Eddie says, opening the back driver's side door and bundling Buck into it. "Just had a big night is all." He leans over Buck, buckles the seatbelt, then goes to the other side. "Thanks, man."

"There's puke bags back there," Theo says, sounding mildly disgruntled.

"You need one?" Eddie asks.

"Nngh? No." Buck tries to get his head upright. Eddie unclips his seatbelt and slides into the middle seat, and Buck decides that really, Eddie's shoulder is as good a place as any to rest his head, and puts it down with a sigh.

He must doze off, because when he wakes up Eddie's leaning across him and unclipping his seatbelt and hustling him out of the car gently, thanking the driver in a whisper, and then helping him up to the front door. Buck feels even wobblier than he did when they left the bar.

"I had too much to drink," he admits.

"I know," Eddie says. "It's fine." He unlocks the front door and lets them in, steadies Buck while Buck kicks his shoes off clumsily, then herds him into the kitchen. He forces more water on Buck, and then some toast, and then sits him down on the couch to go rustle up something for Buck to wear.

Buck looks around the living room dazedly, at the pictures of Eddie and Chris on the wall, of abuela, of Josephine. Eddie's parents are there. It's such a big family it makes him feel a little lonely, really. He loves Maddie, but he's always wanted this.

"Here," Eddie says, coming back into the room. He's changed himself, and he's not wearing a shirt. "These should fit you."

Buck tracks him, spots a scar he's never noticed before on Eddie's lower belly. He reaches out before he can stop himself and touches it, blurrily, watching as Eddie's skin erupts into shivers under his touch.

"Bullet," he says.

Eddie nods. "Through and through wound," he says stiffly. "One of three."

Buck pulls his hand back, feeling a little burned. "Sorry," he whispers. "Shouldn't have said anything."

Eddie shakes his head. "I don't mind, Buck. It's just hard to think about." He begins to pull at the hem of Buck's shirt, and Buck takes it off. "Can you change on your own?"

"Yeah, I think so." He does manage to kick off his jeans on his own, then slides into the sweats Eddie's given him. They're his own, he realises - probably left behind from the last time he stayed the night. "Blanket?" he asks blurrily, suddenly so tired he can hardly see. "Pillow?"

Eddie shakes his head. "C'mon."

He helps Buck to his feet, steers him to the bathroom for the most pathetic round of teeth-brushing in existence, and then right into his own bed, where Buck collapses onto the pillow and curls into a ball on his side, suddenly and inexplicably weary down to his bones.

"Thank you, Eddie," he mumbles.

"You're welcome." He could swear he feels a hand on his shoulder, a kiss to the top of his head. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight."

~*~

He sleeps well into the morning, and by the time he's dragged himself home to at least try and sweat some of the hangover out, there's a bouquet of flowers at his front door.

He smiles as he squats down to pick them up. They're varying shades of blue and purple today, and look more like orchids than anything else. There's a card attached.

_Buck,_

_Thanks. For being you._

~*~

"Thanks for being you?"

"That's what it says."

Maddie squints. "That's... actually really sweet? Did you help someone recently?"

"Not that I can think of," Buck muses. "I mean, last night Eddie had to drag me out of the venue, into an Uber, and then put me to bed. And then in the morning I nearly threw up on his rug. Like a cat."

"You're disgusting, Buck." Maddie puts the card down. "They're pretty," she says slowly. "Have you... put any thought into who it might be...?"

"See, it has to be someone from the firehouse who overheard me talking," Buck contemplates. "I don't think it's Chim. I wouldn't put it past Hen as a one-off, but multiple times? Nah. Bobby - no. Athena... I think Athena might combust near flowers. Also no. Wharton gives me stinkeye every day. So I'm not sure really."

"What about Eddie?" Maddie asks.

Buck grins. "Good one," he says. "Have you met Eddie?"

"You'll see," Maddie says, quirking her eyebrows as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"See what?"

"Nope. I've said too much."

"See what? Maddie! See what?"

~*~

When he comes into work a week later nursing a stuffy nose and headache, there's an arrangement of white and yellow daffodils on the table.

"Are these mine?" Buck asks, pleased, as he makes a beeline for them. Eddie, sitting at the table with a plate of breakfast, looks up at him.

"I'm guessing so. Nobody else is getting flowers around here."

"Huh. I hadn't noticed." Buck sighs. "Can't even sniff them. Pollen will make my cold so much worse."

"Daffodils are hypoallergenic," Eddie says. "Shouldn't make things worse."

Buck blinks at him, and Eddie turns bright red, slowly, like he can't quite help himself. "How do you know if daffodils won't make it worse?"

"Um," Eddie says informatively.

Buck grins at the blush. "Are you embarrassed to know about flowers? Are you secretly a florist?"

"Yeah, that's it," Eddie mumbles. "Don't tell anyone."

"That you like flowers? It's not a bad thing, dude. You can impress the ladies." Even though it sort of wounds Buck that there will always be someone who can snatch Eddie's attention and affection from him, he really does want Eddie to be happy. He can live with that maybe.

"Yeah," Eddie sighs, sounding for all the world like he's incredibly put out by the suggestion. Buck, not really knowing what's going on, takes the little note card from the flowers.

_Buck,_

_Check your locker. Might help with your head._

Buck blinks, but heads down to the locker room with Eddie in tow to get changed for the shift. When he gets there, he rips open his locker to find a little package sitting on the bottom shelf and picks it up curiously.

"Tylenol cold and flu," Buck murmurs, then turns to Eddie. "Hey, are you in on this?"

Eddie freezes like a deer in the headlights of a truck, half in and half out of his navy button-up. "What?" he asks, blinking rapidly.

Buck waves the medication around. "I can't have NyQuil on blood thinners," he says confusedly. "But that's something only someone who knows me really well would know." He grins. "Did you help someone set this up?"

(It's sort of nice to think that Eddie wants him to be happy, and is apparently trying to help the person responsible for the flowers. Buck's also a little sad, because it's confirmation of what he'd already suspected - that not only is Eddie straight, even if he wasn't Buck wouldn't be enough for him.)

Eddie surprises him by frowning and leaning over to tie his boots up before finishing with his shirt. "No," he says shortly. "What makes you think that?"

Buck's a little taken aback, but he presses on. "Well... you know me pretty well," he says hesitantly. "You, you know, did all that reading about my blood thinners..."

"Sorry," Eddie says. "I've got nothing to do with it."

Buck can't believe he let Maddie get inside his head with that "what if it's Eddie" crap, because now he's just disappointed in the worst way, the kind where you're let down but not surprised. Why would he have thought different?

"Why is this shirt so damn big?" Eddie complains.

Buck swallows sadly as he looks at the badge on the shirt. "Um, Eddie," he says quietly. "That's my shirt."

Eddie blinks, then pulls it off and turns it around. Buck's name badge flashes on it. Eddie's cheeks abruptly flame red, and it would be cute and disarming if they were in literally any other situation, and Buck felt a tiny bit less crushed.

"Sorry," he says, and tosses it over. "Grabbed it by accident."

"Yeah." Buck tugs it on, the silence heavy on his shoulders, and then grabs the cold and flu meds. "I'm gonna go take some of these."

He doesn't wait for Eddie. He just wants to go sulk on the couch for five minutes before he has to put everything aside and think about others. Unfortunately, Hen is upstairs, and she immediately notes the slump to his shoulders.

"What's eating you, Buck?" she asks sympathetically.

Thankfully, he can pass this off as a cold. "Head cold," he says. "No big deal." He waves the Tylenol at her. "I'm all set."

"Hmm." Hen looks at him, then stands and follows him into the kitchen. "Nah. That's not it. Your eyes are all sad, baby, what's going on?"

Buck winces, eyes drifting towards the stairs, but Eddie hasn't followed him up. Thankfully, he doesn't need to say anything, because Hen sighs like she gets it.

"Yeah. Okay. Thought so." She pats his shoulders kindly. "Whatever's got Eddie in a grump, sweetie, it's not your fault."

"Feels like my fault," Buck admits.

"Well it's not," Hen says fiercely. "I promise. Come on, let's go a few rounds on the PlayStation before the bell rings. You'll feel better in no time."

Buck smiles; Eddie might be acting weird, but Hen loves him. She always has. "Okay."

"I'll even let you have the good controller," she says graciously.

"You'll still kick my ass..."

"What, you think I'm gonna let you win just because you're pulling the sad puppy routine? No, baby, you gotta earn it."

~*~

The shift more or less passes as normal, except Eddie keeps shooting sideways glances at Buck when he thinks Buck isn't looking and Hen kicks him at least once.

Buck's not really in the mood. It's not often he has a flat day, where he feels like all he wants to do is go home and be by himself, but today is definitely shaping up like that.

He's sat in the fire truck, eating a muesli bar on his own and silently reading a copy of National Geographic on his phone - Eddie bought him a year-long subscription as part of a birthday gift - when the truck door opens, and Chim blinks at him.

"Last place I expected to find you, Buckaroo."

Buck shrugs, and Chim hauls himself up into the cabin, holding a paper plate. "Saved you some food," he says. "A muesli bar isn't enough for a growing boy."

"I must really be moping if you're being this nice to me," Buck says, smiling a little.

"Okay, maybe a little." Chim sits across from him and hands Buck the plate. "Last time you were like this Eddie hadn't even started at the... oh, this is about Eddie, huh?"

His face must change with Eddie's name, and God does he hate himself for that. Buck shrugs. "I think I made him mad," he admits.

"I doubt that," Chim says shrewdly. "But humour me."

"I dunno. I got daffodils today. The note said to look in my locker and I found Tylenol cold and flu. Figured someone close to me had to have told whoever's sending me flowers that I can't have NyQuil with my blood thinners, so I asked Eddie, and he got all weird and snappy." Buck swallows, looks down. "Said he had nothing to do with it."

Chim nods along thoughtfully. "You know," he says, "and you can't tell Maddie that we ever had a serious discussion about this, or she'll know I'm capable of taking things seriously - sometimes you're so good at loving us we feel like we don't deserve it."

Buck blinks, looks up from his plate of food.

"My point is," Chim says, "is that you're really good to Eddie. He does love you, Buck, just like me and Hen do. And Bobby. Sometimes it's hard for him because he feels like he doesn't love you in a way you understand."

Buck nods along slowly. "Tatiana?"

"Yeah, Buck."

Buck takes a bite of one of the mini sandwiches on the plate. Chim smiles at him. "Come on," he says. "Don't sit in here all day. Hen's beating the crap out of me on the PlayStation."

"What, you came to find me so she could beat the crap out of me instead?" But he follows Chimney out of the fire truck and up the stairs, where Bobby smiles knowingly at him, Hen calls him over, and Eddie has this weird, twisted look of relief on his face.

"Better you than me, Buck," Chim says, steering him into the couch seat. "Better you than me."

~*~

Even with Hen and Chim running interference and trying to keep him occupied all day, and Bobby doing his whole concerned dad routine, Buck is relieved when the night shift team comes in to relieve them.

He changes quietly, having waited until he's sure that everyone else - okay, maybe just Eddie - is gone for the night, then heads out to his truck. There's still a few rays of sunlight left, and he contemplates going for a run.

"Buck!"

It's Eddie's voice - he's been leaning against the outside of the building like he was waiting for someone.

"Bye, Eddie," he calls, deciding to try his luck with escaping right off the bat, even though he's been noticed.

"Buck, wait," Eddie calls, and Buck finds himself stopping against his better judgment, allowing Eddie to catch up with him.

Eddie sighs as he takes in Buck's face. "I'm sorry," he says. "About the locker room today."

Buck shrugs uncomfortably. "S'okay."

"No it's not." Eddie rubs his face, looking very much like he would love to run in the other direction, and Buck thinks back to the way Eddie got into street fighting as a way to ruthlessly repress his emotions. He's trying, but telling people how he feels is probably as alien to Eddie as withholding it is to Buck.

"Look," Eddie says, "you just - caught me off guard. That's all."

"Like I said, it's okay." Buck starts back towards his truck, and Eddie matches his stride and gets into his space. "Does it bother you that I'm bi?" he asks, before he can stop himself.

"What? _No_!" Eddie says it so vehemently and sincerely that Buck has no choice but to believe him. "Buck, _no_ , of course not."

"You sure?" Buck asks. "I know we haven't - talked about it much, I..."

"There's nothing to talk about," Eddie says fiercely. "You're still the same Buck. I don't care that you're into men. Or women. Or whatever it is you're into."

"Men _and_ women," Buck corrects, letting himself smile at Eddie's desperate attempts to compensate. "Why the moodiness then?"

Eddie sighs, rubs the back of his neck. "I guess I'm just worried you'll end up liking some other single dad more than me," he jokes weakly.

Buck shakes his head. "Not possible," he says. "You're my best friend. I mean, you were the one who helped me through all my rehab stuff when Ali left. You've watched me cry like a baby. I can't let you leave this friendship now."

Eddie laughs, almost like he's relieved. "Okay."

"So that's it?" Buck asks curiously. "You're just... worried I'll make another friend?"

"No, I'm fine with you having friends as long as I'm your favourite," Eddie says, mock-serious, and then, without even the hint of a joke, "just don't stop coming around, okay? Chris and I, we'd miss you."

"I'll never stop coming around," Buck says. "Someone needs to feed you guys, and it isn't gonna be you."

~*~

But the sadness lingers a little, even with the flowers showing up.

Buck sort of comes to the realisation that he's alone. And that had stopped bothering him for a while, but it's started to again, and he's lonely.

He wouldn't get back with Abby if she came back. But he really did feel like she at least wanted to take care of him, at the start. Before she left.

Every time the flowers are about to die, new ones show up. After Red dies, Buck feels blurred for days, lost, adrift with the knowledge that his life will turn out the same without concentrated effort from him. Maddie promises him he won't be alone, but she has Chim and by the way they're looking at each other, kids might not be far off.

Buck finds himself at the bar they'd met in, alone, drinking himself into a stupor. His eyes burn from a combination of the smoke in the place and tears that just won't quite fall, and he yearns for something that feels just out of reach. He thinks it might be peace.

A hand touches his shoulder, and he startles, looks up to see Eddie's concerned face looking down at him.

"Eddie?" he mumbles.

"Hey, Buckaroo." The affectionate nickname makes Buck feel worse somehow, not better. "What're you doing here?"

"How'd you find me?"

Eddie shrugs one shoulder, leaving his hand on Buck's and using his thumb to press comfortingly at Buck's neck. "You were supposed to have dinner with Maddie," he says. "She was worried when you didn't answer your phone. I figured you might be here."

"How?"

"This is where you and Red used to drink, right?"

Buck doesn't answer, just lifts a hand to scrub his eyes.

"You okay?" Eddie asks gently.

"Just the smoke," Buck mumbles, which doesn't answer Eddie's question. He sees Eddie's eyes surveying the table carefully, taking in the beer bottles and glasses littering it.

"Yeah, okay," he says slowly. "I think it's time for you to be done."

Buck can't argue there. He scrubs his eyes again and allows Eddie to help him out of his seat. It's the second time he's gotten shitfaced drunk in front of the other man, and he's a little embarrassed at treating his problems like a teenager would, but he can't bring himself to really care right now.

"Come on," Eddie says, steering him to the door. "Watch the step."

Buck clatters down the steps awkwardly, startled by the cool air outside and the blare of a car horn going past. He bumps into Eddie as he recoils from the curb, and Eddie steadies him, doesn't pull away.

"Are you taking me home?" Buck asks miserably.

"Do you want me to?"

"No." And then, because he's Buck and he sort of gets feelings all over whoever's too close to him, "I'm lonely. I don't wanna be by myself."

"You're not right now. You're with me. You wanna go for a walk?"

Buck nods, and they fall into step along the sidewalk. Eddie doesn't say anything, but Buck feels a little less awful all the same. Eddie came and found him, and even if he doesn't care in the way Buck really wants him to, it's nice.

"You know," Eddie says as they wander along, "when I came back from Afghanistan, Shannon wanted to take a road trip. I probably could've been more graceful about saying no, but it was like - I'd been gone for years at that point, and I felt like a stranger to everyone. My mom and dad, Shannon. Christopher. Nobody wanted to just give me time. Everyone expected me to just be okay again." Eddie waves a hand. "Like nothing ever happened. Nobody even really - I dunno, nobody wanted to even look at the scars."

Buck nods, wondering where this is going but basking in the idea that Eddie trusts him enough to tell him.

"And then you looked at me the other night and asked me," Eddie says. "You weren't scared to say anything."

Buck winces. "I'm sorry-"

"No, don't be. It was... nice. That someone looked at them and acknowledged them. It's weird to say I guess."

"It's not that weird," Buck says.

"You don't think so?"

"No. I'm sorry you got hurt. And that nobody gave you time."

Eddie nods, looking over at him. His eyes are so dark in the night that they look black. "I'm sorry nobody took you seriously the other day," he says. "When you were worried we'd all stop talking. You seem pretty worried about it."

Buck shrugs. "I always get left behind."

Eddie bumps him gently, but deliberately, a pinprick of warmth in the cool night. "What do you mean?"

"Maddie left," Buck mumbles, feeling like the words are stuck in his throat. "And when the lawsuit happened, everyone just - kind of dropped me. And seemed fine with it. Abby left. Ali left. When enough people leave, you start thinking you make it easy for them."

Eddie's quiet next to him, and Buck lets him think. He feels a little wobbly on his feet, now, and very much like he's emotionally spent.

"I wanna go home now," he implores.

"Okay. Let's go. My car's back that way."

Eddie puts a hand on his head when he almost bashes it against the roof of the car getting in, and when they eventually stop driving, Buck's barely cognizant of the fact that they're at Eddie's not his place. Not that he cares.

When they enter the house, Eddie hesitates. Then, "Let's go up to the roof."

"Okay, but don't let me fall," Buck says, following Eddie into the tiny little attic and out the window. The walk did him some good, and climbing on things that aren't strictly supposed to be climbed is his shtick, so before he really thinks about the wisdom of doing so while drinking he's out there.

"Why are we on the roof?" he asks.

Eddie gestures upwards, and Buck leans back a little, trusting that Eddie won't let him overbalance. The stars are more visible out here, a little brighter and whiter in a way that makes Buck feel a lot less alone than he has.

"Wow," he mumbles dazedly.

"Yeah," Eddie smiles. "It's pretty great."

They sit in silence for almost five minutes, heads tipped back, watching the starts glitter. There are no clouds around tonight, and the view is totally unobstructed.

"Buck," Eddie says.

"Hmm," Buck replies.

"I don't want you to go out and get drunk when you feel down, man. Come talk to me instead. It's not good for you, and it's... slippery. That's all. I know this is just once, but I don't want it to be twice."

Buck lets his head and neck fall back into a regular position, turns to look at Eddie. He looks genuinely worried, and he's nibbling at his lower lip as he watches Buck, obviously nervous for his reaction.

He remembers one time, trying to talk to Eddie, trying to get Eddie to see where he was coming from. He remembers, "You're exhausting!" and being told to suck it up, and he just doesn't know if he's there yet. He's so desperate to alleviate his loneliness, and so scared of letting the wrong person in. Of being misunderstood and unseen again.

"Buck," Eddie prompts.

"You don't think I'm exhausting?" Buck blurts.

Eddie's face crumbles. "No, Buck," he murmurs. "I'm sorry. I never should have said it. It isn't true."

"I wasn't trying to make a point or anything," Buck says, staring out across the suburbs to avoid looking at Eddie. "I wasn't trying to - to punish anyone, or ruin anyone's life, I just - I just wanted to come back to you guys. You know that right?"

He's surprised when Eddie shuffles a little closer, presses into his side gently. "Yeah, I know, Buck," he says sadly. "I'm sorry. I should've apologised before."

"I just didn't want you to leave," Buck says.

A long pause. Then, "What about everyone else?"

Buck swallows, face suddenly hot and nervous tremors running through him. Eddie must notice, because he puts an arm over Buck's shoulders. "Yeah," Buck whispers. "Everyone else. But you especially."

Eddie surprises him - again - with an affectionate little headbutt and a smile.

Buck swallows. Eddie's been really honest with him, about Afghanistan and a bunch of other things lately. And maybe it'd help to talk to someone. They're up here on the roof and Buck's a little drunk and he can pretend he never said anything tomorrow if he has to.

"Maddie left the first time when I was twelve," Buck says. "To go to college. I was really - our parents weren't great. She just left me there and I get it, I know she couldn't have taken me with her, it was college, but I didn't get it at the time. I was twelve and my big sister was leaving, and she was the only one who ever really tried to understand me."

Eddie watches him, gaze gentle the way Buck's become accustomed to when it's aimed at him. He says nothing, just rests his head on Buck's shoulder.

"Then she came back for a bit when I was a teenager," Buck admits, "and it hurt worse when she left that time, because when she was in college, she called. Texted. When she was with Doug... there was nothing. My sister left, and Abby left..."

He feels the tension mount in Eddie's body at the mention of Abby. "She was good for me for a while I think," he mumbles. "She helped me out of a really dark spot, after I lost my first person on the job. But then she left and just kind of... well, left me hanging."

"That wasn't right of her," Eddie says. "You know I won't do that, right? I'm not gonna leave you."

Buck's eyes sting. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. I don't know who's gonna feed Christopher if I go anywhere."

Eddie snorts out a laugh. "Okay, I get it. Serious conversation over." He looks up at the stars once more. "Come on, let's go inside. You can stay the night."

Buck doesn't even put up a token refusal, and when they both climb into Eddie's bed again, he's sober enough to feel the heat of Eddie's fingers, tangling with his under the blankets, calling him to peace. Calling him home.

~*~

Two days later, at the station, there's a single white orchid plant, potted, in his locker.

This is different, he realises, because it isn't a bouquet. It's in a real planter - a light bamboo one - with potting mix, fixed delicately to a slender stick to keep the stem and flowers upright. It's in full bloom.

There's a card with it. Buck plucks it off the fork carefully, his hands shaking a little.

_Buck,_

_Something you can keep, this time._

His eyes sting a little, and he blinks quickly, feeling decidedly bolstered and less lonely than he has in a while. Whoever it is, they clearly wanted this flower to be a secret.

"What are you grinning about?"

He looks up. Eddie's entered the locker room, looking at him with a carefully blank expression on his face. His eyes flit to the card in Buck's hand, and he swallows a little. "Oh. More uh, more flowers?"

"Just one today." Buck smiles, putting the card carefully in his bag with the others. "I think it's my favourite so far."

"Oh yeah?" Eddie's got his face in his locker. "Why's that?"

"It's um, it's potted. I can keep this one." Buck feels like he's floating, a little. "So it won't die on me as long as I take care of it."

"That's good," Eddie says, reappearing from his locker and giving Buck a little smile. "I'm glad they're making you happy. It's nice to see you smile."

Buck's still grinning like a cheeseball when Chimney enters, takes one look at them, and says, "Alright, Buck, how'd you get into Athena's drug safe?"

"I'll never tell," Buck says, closing the door to his locker before Chimney can see the orchid. "Bobby'll have our heads if we're not at inspection. Let's go."

~*~

It takes him a whole two more days to realise that the cards all have the name of the flower shop on them.

This, he realises, is huge. Because everyone at the firehouse seems to know who it is, and nobody will tell him, probably out of respect for that person's privacy but damn it, Buck wants to know who it is so he can romance the fuck out of them already.

He Googles the address of the flower shop, then decides to go around there. The flower shop attendants might be able to tell him something, even if it's only a vague hint to point him in the right direction. He just needs to know.

When he enters, there's a girl behind the counter, maybe nineteen or twenty, her hair in little buns and her eyeliner dramatically framing her eyes. She looks up when he enters and smiles.

"Hello! What kind of arrangement are you after today?"

Her nametag says Kaz. "I'm uh, I'm not," Buck admits with a laugh. "I'm actually - well, someone's been sending me flowers, and I was wondering if you would be able to help me out and tell me who? Or, you know, point me in the right direction...?"

"Sure, what's your name?" she asks. "I mean, I can't promise anything. Privacy and all that."

"Uh, it's Buck. Evan Buckley."

Her eyes widen dramatically, and she drops the pair of scissors she's holding. " _Ohmigod_ , you're Buck," she whispers reverently.

"You, uh... know me?" he asks, feeling a little nervous now.

"Well duh! Well, no-" and that doesn't really clear things up - "We just know the guy who keeps getting you flowers. Like, he comes in and really agonises over it, you know? Stands here for half an hour and looks at all the arrangements and then once he's picked the flowers he spends another fifteen minutes trying to think of what to write to you."

Buck's heart is pounding out of his chest right now, and he feels almost a little lightheaded. "It's one person?"

"Yeah! He just - talks about you so much, in this really weird way like he's shy, and we all kinda feel like we know you by listening to him? That's really weird, I'm sorry. But he's gorgeous, he's got this great hair and brown eyes and like, his canine teeth? _Super_ pointy-"

She interrupts herself to look up at him, beaming and flushed, and says, "Oh, sorry. Guess you wanna know who it is?"

"No," Buck mumbles shyly. "No, I - I think I know." He points at the rack behind her, the one that holds the tulips, and says, "How much are those?"

~*~

He texts ahead to make sure Eddie's home.

When he pulls up, he's so nervous his hands are shaking. He's fairly sure there's no platonic way to buy your best friend multiple bouquets of flowers with little notes just because said best friend offhandedly mentioned he'd never gotten any before, so he thinks he's right, but...

What if he's not?

It would make Eddie's behaviour make sense, sort of. The weirdness about the flowers in the first place, and how Hen and Chim were teasing them, and the little freakout Eddie had in the club when Buck was talking to that other dude. Letting Buck almost climb into his lap like a kitten on the sidewalk. Retrieving him from that crusty dive bar.

But it feels too good to be true. It feels like it couldn't possibly be true, not after Buck has pined and wanted and desperately, desperately hoped that Eddie might be able to see him that way when no one else could. When no one else thought he was worth the effort. He's scared, but he has to know.

He walks up to the doorstep with the tulips in hand - red and white ones - and rings the bell before he can talk himself out of it.

He hears Chris's excited laughter, and he smiles just hearing it, until he also hears Eddie's footsteps rushing to the front door. He pulls it open and he's looking at Buck with concern, with worry.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "You sounded weird over text-"

"I know it was you," Buck blurts. "The flowers. I know it was you."

Eddie's face arrests, then begins to close down. He takes a step back from the door.

"No, wait," Buck pleads. "Don't - don't do that, man. Please. I know it was you. I um - I was hoping it was you, and..." He holds up the tulips, trying to hide his face and how furiously red it is, how afraid he must look. "I got you these," he mumbles.

He stands for a moment, trembling, wondering if he massively fucked up. If he misread it, and Eddie really did mean for it to be platonic, to just cheer him up a little on bad days.

Then Eddie's fingers close around his, on the stems of the flowers, and he lowers Buck's hand so they can look at each other. He smiles, almost timidly.

"How'd you figure it out?"

"The note cards," Buck says. "They had the name of the place on them."

"Wait," Eddie says. "You kept those?"

"Of course I kept them," Buck laughs, surprised. "I've got all of them in my work bag. Realised they were all coming from the same place, went in, and-"

"Kaz sold me out, didn't she?" Eddie groans.

Buck laughs. He's so relieved he could faint from it, but instead he steps forward and wraps Eddie in a hug. "Yeah," he mumbles into the side of Eddie's head. "She sold you out. Not on purpose though. You talk about me so much in there that I told them my name and she freaked out. It was like I was a god to her."

"Well, don't get any ideas," Eddie says, and then he takes the bouquet from Buck's hand and draws him into a soft, loving kiss, complete with those damn pointy canine teeth. He holds the back of Buck's neck gently, like he's easing Buck into it. Like there's nothing to be afraid of.

When he pulls back, he's smiling. "Why don't you come inside?" he asks. "We're about to have family dinner."

Buck flushes happily at the idea of being included with Eddie and Chris and abuela and Josephine, like he's supposed to be there and was supposed to be all along.

"Yeah. I have time for dinner."


End file.
